Misunderstandings and A Lot of Whipped Cream

I just came back from my school's Carol Concert. I think have I have contracted hypothermia from sitting on a hard wooden pew in a gigantic stone building for two hour.

Now, though, I'm snuggled cosily in bed, listening to Taylor Swift's amazing new song on repeat, writing this blog and eating a whole can of whipped cream. 

If you were an avid 'Confessions of a Tea-Aholic' fan, you would be doing this as well, as I know many of you are, since it is Day 15 of my own special advent calendar, aka Eat A Whole Can Of Whipped Cream Day. I suggest you go buy a can of whipped cream, snuggle up and click play on this link below before you commence reading this blog.

I've had quite an interesting week. On Monday, I went to B&M bargains (classy, I know) to buy my secret Santa present for a friend. I thought that we were all buying joke presents for each other (I was wrong) but nevertheless trawled this vast warehouse of odd bits and bobs, including these magic straws that make normal milk turn chocolatey when you sip through them. 

If you were considering purchasing this ingenious idea, don't. I fell for this 39p bargain and was thoroughly disappointed when I sipped through the straw and tasted practically normal milk, with a hint of powdered processed chocolate. 

Then I came across the perfect gift for our set budget of a measly £3. It was a 'Santa's Little Helper' costume, complete with a tiny felt dress and long striped socks, that made some outfits witnessed on a Saturday Night in Porthcawl look like habits (which are nun's gowns, if you didn't know.)

As I was paying for said costume, I made a passing comment at the delightful checkout woman, telling her that it wasn't for me, it was a joke present for a friend. She looked at me and cheerfully chirped "I'm not judging, love!"

As you can probably imagine, I was mortified. As I desperately tried to convince her that I wasn't lying, she glanced up at me as she gave me my 1p change and said "Well, if you've got the body, I say flaunt it!"

I realised there was no chance that I would be able to convince this 50+ woman that I was not buying the lovely costume for myself, and so, clutching my practically see through B&M bag, I hastened out of the shop, aghast.

I get myself into these kind of situations very frequently, as all my friends would testify to, especially Tash. I don't know how. Perhaps it is my general awkwardness. The amount of times I have trip, slip and drop things in a day is ridiculous. I like to blame my height, as you might have noticed, I am quite tall for a girl. Not clown tall, but not short either. 

A lot of people say that they are clumsy. But I really am. Particular instances spring to mind, such as in a GCSE chemistry practical last year, I somehow managed to drop a beaker with some sort of dangerous looking chemical in it, and gouge my hand open in several places. Dr Wellington still thinks I'm a complete joke after that. 

Other times that my clumsiness has shone is the countless times I have slipped on completely dry ground and fallen on my backside, once with a hockey stick, flute and games kit clattering to the ground with me amidst the laughter of random people in the street. Definitely a character building experience.

I've finished my can of whipped cream. My pride did not let me give up, seeing as my parents looked at me like I had the IQ of a 4 year old when I told them what I was going to do. I feel proud, and I hope all of you that had ate a whole can of whipped cream (I know you avid followers are out there, somewhere) feel an immense sense of accomplishment. There's something interesting that you can put on your CV when applying to university. It's sure to get you noticed.  You can thank me when you're a high flying politician. 

One last thing; one of my best friends is a fellow blogger, and I would love you to read his blog. He's hysterical, and it would definitely make his day if his blog views rose dramatically. Here's the link; Merry Christmas!

http://guysthatwrite.blogspot.com/

A Special Advent Calendar

It's December the 1st everyone! Only 25 days 'til Christmas! Today I opened my first advent calendar pocket, which contained a small Cadbury's chocolate christmas cracker (wow, look at that alliteration!) and I was quite disappointed that that was what I was to look forward to every day. 

So, being my quirky self, I have decided to embark on a series of challenges, one for each day of Advent. An Advent Challenge, if you like. Once I complete each daily challenge, I get the chocolate. If you would like to accompany me on this character building experience, feel free. It'll do you good.

December 1st - Good Neighbour Day: Put up Christmas lights in your bedroom window to spread some christmas cheer to your neighbours. If you haven't got a spare set, buy an Asda value one. Literally £1.60 or something. 

December 2nd - Sing Down The Phone Day: Call a friend and sing 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' loudly down the phone, and then hang up. Don't say hi or bye, just do it.

December 3rd - Buy A Tree Day: If you haven't already got a real Christmas tree, go get one. Christmas just isn't the same with a synthetic one. You don't get that lovely piney smell. I said this to my friend Tash the other day, to which she replied 'You've got a blocked nose all winter though, so the smell won't make a difference to you!' Witty child. 

December 4th - Bake A Christmas Carol Day: Choose a Christmas carol, and bake cookies shaped as the carol. For example, last year I did this and chose 'The 12 Days of Christmas'. I gave up after 'three turtle doves', though. 

December 5th - Hug Your Mum Day: Hug your mum. Easy, I know, but she'll appreciate it. 

December 6th - Make A Snowman Day: No, not a real one. A sock one. Genius, I know.  I've already done this one with my little sister, and it turned out really well. Click here to make it. You know you want to.

December 7th - Hug Your Dad Day: Go on, he's probably feeling left out now, after you hugged your mum and not him. In fact, go hug all of your family. They deserve it for putting up with you.

December 8th – Charity Day: Count up how much you spent today on food, double it and give it to a charity of your choice. You’ll feel good, trust me.

December 9th – Christmassy Nails Day: Paint your nails Christmassy colours. Go wild! Green and red stripes, silvery snowflakes, the possibilities are endless. Boys, embrace your feminine side. Or try out your nail art prowess on an unsuspecting girl.

December 10th – Bubble Bath Day: For some this may be a hard challenge. Immerse yourself in a bubbly hot bubble bath and relax! See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?

December 11th – Friends Day: No, not real friends, Friends as in the program. Watch a Christmas episode of it here, it’ll make you happy. Especially Phoebe and Chandler. They’re comical geniuses.

December 12th – Wear A Tinsel Scarf Day: You’ll look pretty, trust me.

December 13th – Jingle Bell Day: Learn jingle bells on an instrument. If you don’t have a piano or guitar, learn it on the pots and pans. I’m sure your mum will appreciate it.

December 14th – Fabric Wreath Day: I found this wreath thingy on the Internet and I fell in love with it. So make it and we can be wreath buddies! Click here

December 15th – Whipped Cream Day: It’s 10 days ‘til Christmas! Buy a can a whipped cream and eat it all. Literally all of it. Only stop if you’re sick. And then man up and finish it.

December 16th – Funniest Joke Ever Day: Tell the funniest person you know this joke. And no, before you ask, you can’t tell it to yourself.

What's an ig?

An eskimo's home without a toilet.

  

December 17th – Cake Baking Day: It’s time to bake again! Your choice this time, I'm being nice.

December 18th –Hot Chocolate Day: Drink a mug of hot chocolate. Preferably the milk kind. That’s definitely the best kind.

December 19th –  Winter Walk Day: I love winter walks. Go on a winter walk and enjoy the crisp air. Don’t stay out long, though, otherwise you’ll get hyperthermia and die.

December 20th – Glitter Day: Glitter and Christmas go together like Ant and Dec. Coat something with glitter. Anything. A picture, a jumper, yourself, your little sister…the possibilities are endless.

December 21st – Language Day: Find someone from a different country and say ‘Merry Christmas’ to them in their language. You’ll look super brainy. Just don’t tell them you used Google translate.

December 22nd – Random Act Of Kindness Day: It’s nice to be kind to someone at Christmas. So do something nice for someone. Buy them a cup of tea, offer to do the washing up, or whatever other kind acts you can muster up.

December 23rd – ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas Day: Yes, I know it’s not actually the night before Christmas, but tomorrow’s movie night so you have to read the poem today instead. Read it here.

December 24th – Movie Day: Watch your favourite Christmas movie. Mine’s 'The Snowman'.

December 25th – Christmas Day: You did it!! Well done! That is if you did it all. If you didn’t, shame on you, you lazy thing.

Wow, that was a long calendar. I didn’t envisage it was going to be that long when I started writing it. It’ll be worth it though, don’t you worry. So go on, go put some Christmas lights up to spread the Christmas cheer! Got to love the cheese.

Chicken for Thanksgiving

In case you didn't know, it was Thanksgiving last Thursday. Embracing our American heritage, my family always enjoys celebrating it. The crispy roast potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, butternut squash with marshmallow topping (alas my mother refuses to put the marshmallow topping on now), jelly (yes, literally on the plate, all mixing in with the gravy), honey glazed carrots...oh, and turkey.

Except this year we didn't have turkey. 

We used to have a big box freezer, but after moving house and leaving that one behind, we got a normal shelfy kind. Unfortunately, the measly little shelves don't fit a twelve pound bird. Shame, I really like turkey.

At least we celebrated it on the right day though. A few years ago, I skipped to school merrily, and wished 'Happy Thanksgiving' to my friends with a grin that could put the tro-lo-lo-lo-lo guy to shame. (If you don't know who this beauty is, I've linked the sing along version of the song here.)

The next day, I trudged in and mumbled to my laughing friends that my mother (not I, just for the record) had got the date wrong, and subsequently we had celebrated Thanksgiving a week early. My mum had only realised when she phoned her mum in America to wish her a happy thanksgiving, only to hear laughing down the phone for the next fifteen minutes. She hasn't made that mistake again.

I love Thanksgiving. To be honest, I love food in general, which is why I am thankful for my friends and our dinner club.

I, along with a few of my friends, have had a little dinner club for the past year or so, eating various impressive dishes at each others houses. Last night we had another amazing meal of various types of pasta, garlic bread and homemade ice cream with hot fudge sauce. 

After eating, we have gotten up to quite a variety of things, including carving Mary (as in Jesus' mother) in butter, dying Richard's hair brown and going into hysterics when it came out ginger, and going on Omegle dressed with headscarves and sunglasses. Love you guys.

Oh, for the record, Children in Need went well. Children froze in terror as we swept past them with our capes billowing behind us. We definitely went all out, compared to some that dressed up. We literally studied the characters down to the last detail, which included the dark marks, and in my case, a winge. 

You may not be familiar with winges. Basically, they're clip on fringes. I wore a dark brown one as I was Narcissa Malfoy. For those who didn't know who I was, shame on you. Go read the Harry Potter books. Like now. Well after you finish reading this. You won't regret it.

It was pretty funny walking home dressed like Narcissa Malfoy though. You know when you usually are walking and as people drive past you, they quickly glance at you and then look forward and keep driving? 

People were not glancing. They weren't even staring. They were glancing at me, having a double take and then turning in their seat, straining to see the weird emo girl with the black fringe. Actually, the crazy weird emo girl, as I found this so funny I was laughing to myself as I walked home. 

On a parting note, I was in England recently with my dad. After we passed someone, briefly smiling, my dad told me that that was probably the last time we would ever be in contact with that person. Ever. Mind Blown.

Hair

I have had quite a few different hairstyles over the years, varying from the formidable bowl cut to an I-wish-I-could-do-my-hair-like-Princess-Leah type. Of course, changing hairstyles means a trip to the hairdressers, of which I have had many over the years.

I’ve look up some interesting but useless facts to do with hair for you to impress your friends with. I guarantee that when you tell them these you'll be Mr Popular.

-  The average person gets 6 haircuts a year. That means that if you live the average life-span of 72 years you would have 432 haircuts. 

- The average person grows 6 inches of hair a year. 

- The average person loses 100 hairs a day.

- The world record for the longest hair is 18 feet long. I find it hard to comprehend length, so I imagined how long three 6 foot people would be lying down in line. That's long.

I've always loved having my hair cut, since I was very young. I was always the angelic child, which was easy to play on having Philip as a brother. When we went to get our haircut, because Phil would kick up such a fuss, my mum would buy us a pack of crisps to pacify the whinging. 

'Crisps as a treat?!' you say scathingly? Well yes, my dear friend, I lived in Nepal where people look through rubbish for valuables as a job. So yes, crisps were a treat.

I've had many memories in the hairdressers. When I was 8, a new hairdressers opened in Kathmandu called 'Cinderella Beauty Parlour'. Naturally, being the blonde haired, blue eyed stereotypical little girl I was, I was hooked, and after much begging, was taken by my mother as a treat. 

Some treat it was. When we got inside, after much scrambling as I seemed to be the first customer that had entered their doors in a while, they sat me on a wooden chair, and my mother explained that I wanted a wash and cut.

"Okay, no problem" said the young woman "but we haven't got any warm water. But the cold wash will be very refreshing?" She smiled hopefully, but my mum being the savvy woman she is told her that I would just have a trim and forget the wash. 

Have you ever referred to someone as 'scissor happy'? I suggest you go to them right now and tell them that you're sorry, because you don't understand the meaning of scissor happy until you have met this woman.

She chopped away at my hair like there was no tomorrow, until finally my mother stepped in and assured her that my length was perfectly fine now, albeit slightly uneven. Then onto the fringe she went with just as much vigour, snipping away while my mother looked on with worry. The woman finally stepped back to admire her masterpiece. 

My fringe was wonky.

So wonky and short that I looked like I had been in an argument with Beth Ditto (who FYI scares the living daylight out of me.) My mother let out a cry of horror, and snatched the scissors out of the woman's hands and finished the job herself. 

That was the first and last time I ever went to Cinderella Beauty Parlour. It closed down shortly after. I wonder why...

More recently, I had an interesting experience with my current hairdresser, who comes to my house to cut my hair. She was checking to see if my hair was even, and asked me to stand up. 

As a brief introduction, I have had a history of light headedness from standing up for too long. Weird  I know. 

Anyway, there I was standing up whilst my mother was checking my hair from behind (she doesn't take chances with haircuts anymore), when I started to feel dizzy. I ignored it, but carried on feeling worse and worse, when suddenly everything started going black. 

The next thing I knew I was lying on the kitchen floor, confused. It honestly felt like I had had a really nice long sleep. I later found out I was only out for a few seconds. Fainting's weird. 

On a parting note, I love hair. Imagine if there was no such thing as hair? We'd all look pretty egg-like. So be thankful for your hair. Deep, I know. 

'You can't part the skin of a sausage,

Or a dad from his fond son and heir.

And you can't part the hair on a bald-headed man,

For there'll be no parting there.'

- Billy Bennett

Tea, Death Eaters and Clair De Lune

I love tea. You may have realised from the title of this blog. Tea, however amazing it may be, is not what I created this blog to write about all the time, although there will be frequent references, let me assure you.


My friends and I are dressing up as death eaters for Children in Need this year. You may think 'Meh, that's easy! All you need is a cape and you're done!'


Alas, I am friends with the thespians of the school. So when I say dress up, I don't mean just putting on a cape and smiling for a camera. I mean buying a wig, hand sewing a velvet cape, making an exact replica of the character's wand of whom you are portraying (Narcissa's Wand, in my case) and creating a secret Facebook group to discuss costume and make up ideas.


Although this may seem over the top to those of you who have purchased a costume to show as much flesh as possible, I would much rather it this way. Dressing up is MUCH more fun when you make passersby cross to the other side of the road in fear. 


On a different note (no pun intended) I have conquered Clair de Lune! If you do not know what the heck Clair de Lune is, please educate your uncultured mind and listen to it. There's a link at the end of this post. It's amazing. 


Coming from a family where classical music has always been playing in the house and car, my parents will probably be horrified for me to say that I do not enjoy alot of the classical music that I hear. I enjoy some, particularly those involving piano, as I play piano, but others as well. I think it is ignorant, however, to say you enjoy classical music and never express your dislike of a piece. I like pop and acoustic music, but I don't enjoy EVERY song that comes on the radio. Just because it's pop or acoustic, it doesn't mean I like it. (Dad, if you're reading this, this is directed at you.)


Rant over, I love playing piano. I started having lessons when I was around 8, after coming home from a friend's house and feeling determined to learn after hearing her play 'Mary had a little lamb' which she had learned in her first piano lesson. She quit about a month later. I persuaded my parents to buy a second hand little yamaha keyboard and a ragged looking beginners book. A month or so later, they hired a friend's 17 year old son to teach me. My style of learning definitely didn't suit his teaching style, however, as he made me play the same piece week after week until I had played it perfectly. I can still see the pages of the songs about snorkelers and astronauts. I think he gave up in the end with the perfection idea. He was probably just as sick of hearing the boring 5 note melody as I was.


5 teachers later, after many years of plodding through book after book, I have reached a point where I play piano for enjoyment, and although I am preparing for my grade 8 exam, I am loving the freedom of being able to play so many pieces that I have heard over the years and only dreamt of playing. 


I'm also a piano teacher now which I really enjoy. It definitely has its perks above other jobs; I choose the hours I work, good money, great little kids (mostly!) and a skill that I have been convinced by Debz, the careers counsellor in school (Ha!) that will look 'fab' on my CV. 


Tonight I made a list of ten random facts about me, my tea addiction being one of them...


1) I love the taste of Colgate toothpaste.

2) I wear sundresses all year round, whatever the weather.
3) I have a slight obsession with Taylor Swift.
4) I am the only person below the age of about 40 that I know that reads the news every day.
5) Once a llama spat in my face when I stroked its nose.
6) I have read the Harry Potter books through about 9 times and I am still in love with them.
7) My favourite word is mellifluous. Go on. Say it. See, you feel instantly happy. You're welcome.
8) I'm addicted to Twinings English Breakfast Tea.
9) I grew up in Nepal, live in Wales, have an American Mother and a British Father. I have no idea where I come from.
10) I love playing piano, especially pretty pieces like Clair De Lune. I know I mentioned it above, but it seriously is amazing. Listen to it, it'll make you happy. In fact, listen to it and say mellifluous as well. Bam. I should be a counsellor for depressed people.

I'll leave you with this to ponder over: If you ate yourself would you double in size or disappear completely?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIsQPdC9YnY&feature=related