Thursday 15 December 2011

Misunderstandings and A Lot of Whipped Cream

I just came back from my school's Carol Concert. I think have I have contracted hypothermia from sitting on a hard wooden pew in a gigantic stone building for two hour.
Now, though, I'm snuggled cosily in bed, listening to Taylor Swift's amazing new song on repeat, writing this blog and eating a whole can of whipped cream. 

If you were an avid 'Confessions of a Tea-Aholic' fan, you would be doing this as well, as I know many of you are, since it is Day 15 of my own special advent calendar, aka Eat A Whole Can Of Whipped Cream Day. I suggest you go buy a can of whipped cream, snuggle up and click play on this link below before you commence reading this blog.


I've had quite an interesting week. On Monday, I went to B&M bargains (classy, I know) to buy my secret Santa present for a friend. I thought that we were all buying joke presents for each other (I was wrong) but nevertheless trawled this vast warehouse of odd bits and bobs, including these magic straws that make normal milk turn chocolatey when you sip through them. 

If you were considering purchasing this ingenious idea, don't. I fell for this 39p bargain and was thoroughly disappointed when I sipped through the straw and tasted practically normal milk, with a hint of powdered processed chocolate. 

Then I came across the perfect gift for our set budget of a measly £3. It was a 'Santa's Little Helper' costume, complete with a tiny felt dress and long striped socks, that made some outfits witnessed on a Saturday Night in Porthcawl look like habits (which are nun's gowns, if you didn't know.)

As I was paying for said costume, I made a passing comment at the delightful checkout woman, telling her that it wasn't for me, it was a joke present for a friend. She looked at me and cheerfully chirped "I'm not judging, love!"

As you can probably imagine, I was mortified. As I desperately tried to convince her that I wasn't lying, she glanced up at me as she gave me my 1p change and said "Well, if you've got the body, I say flaunt it!"

I realised there was no chance that I would be able to convince this 50+ woman that I was not buying the lovely costume for myself, and so, clutching my practically see through B&M bag, I hastened out of the shop, aghast.

I get myself into these kind of situations very frequently, as all my friends would testify to, especially Tash. I don't know how. Perhaps it is my general awkwardness. The amount of times I have trip, slip and drop things in a day is ridiculous. I like to blame my height, as you might have noticed, I am quite tall for a girl. Not clown tall, but not short either. 

A lot of people say that they are clumsy. But I really am. Particular instances spring to mind, such as in a GCSE chemistry practical last year, I somehow managed to drop a beaker with some sort of dangerous looking chemical in it, and gouge my hand open in several places. Dr Wellington still thinks I'm a complete joke after that. 

Other times that my clumsiness has shone is the countless times I have slipped on completely dry ground and fallen on my backside, once with a hockey stick, flute and games kit clattering to the ground with me amidst the laughter of random people in the street. Definitely a character building experience.

I've finished my can of whipped cream. My pride did not let me give up, seeing as my parents looked at me like I had the IQ of a 4 year old when I told them what I was going to do. I feel proud, and I hope all of you that had ate a whole can of whipped cream (I know you avid followers are out there, somewhere) feel an immense sense of accomplishment. There's something interesting that you can put on your CV when applying to university. It's sure to get you noticed.  You can thank me when you're a high flying politician. 

One last thing; one of my best friends is a fellow blogger, and I would love you to read his blog. He's hysterical, and it would definitely make his day if his blog views rose dramatically. Here's the link; Merry Christmas!

Thursday 1 December 2011

A Special Advent Calendar


It's December the 1st everyone! Only 25 days 'til Christmas! Today I opened my first advent calendar pocket, which contained a small Cadbury's chocolate christmas cracker (wow, look at that alliteration!) and I was quite disappointed that that was what I was to look forward to every day. 

So, being my quirky self, I have decided to embark on a series of challenges, one for each day of Advent. An Advent Challenge, if you like. Once I complete each daily challenge, I get the chocolate. If you would like to accompany me on this character building experience, feel free. It'll do you good.

December 1st - Good Neighbour Day: Put up Christmas lights in your bedroom window to spread some christmas cheer to your neighbours. If you haven't got a spare set, buy an Asda value one. Literally £1.60 or something. 

December 2nd - Sing Down The Phone Day: Call a friend and sing 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' loudly down the phone, and then hang up. Don't say hi or bye, just do it.

December 3rd - Buy A Tree Day: If you haven't already got a real Christmas tree, go get one. Christmas just isn't the same with a synthetic one. You don't get that lovely piney smell. I said this to my friend Tash the other day, to which she replied 'You've got a blocked nose all winter though, so the smell won't make a difference to you!' Witty child. 

December 4th - Bake A Christmas Carol Day: Choose a Christmas carol, and bake cookies shaped as the carol. For example, last year I did this and chose 'The 12 Days of Christmas'. I gave up after 'three turtle doves', though. 

December 5th - Hug Your Mum Day: Hug your mum. Easy, I know, but she'll appreciate it. 

December 6th - Make A Snowman Day: No, not a real one. A sock one. Genius, I know.  I've already done this one with my little sister, and it turned out really well. Click here to make it. You know you want to.

December 7th - Hug Your Dad Day: Go on, he's probably feeling left out now, after you hugged your mum and not him. In fact, go hug all of your family. They deserve it for putting up with you.

December 8th – Charity Day: Count up how much you spent today on food, double it and give it to a charity of your choice. You’ll feel good, trust me.

December 9th – Christmassy Nails Day: Paint your nails Christmassy colours. Go wild! Green and red stripes, silvery snowflakes, the possibilities are endless. Boys, embrace your feminine side. Or try out your nail art prowess on an unsuspecting girl.

December 10th – Bubble Bath Day: For some this may be a hard challenge. Immerse yourself in a bubbly hot bubble bath and relax! See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?

December 11th – Friends Day: No, not real friends, Friends as in the program. Watch a Christmas episode of it here, it’ll make you happy. Especially Phoebe and Chandler. They’re comical geniuses.

December 12th – Wear A Tinsel Scarf Day: You’ll look pretty, trust me.

December 13th – Jingle Bell Day: Learn jingle bells on an instrument. If you don’t have a piano or guitar, learn it on the pots and pans. I’m sure your mum will appreciate it.

December 14th – Fabric Wreath Day: I found this wreath thingy on the Internet and I fell in love with it. So make it and we can be wreath buddies! Click here

December 15th – Whipped Cream Day: It’s 10 days ‘til Christmas! Buy a can a whipped cream and eat it all. Literally all of it. Only stop if you’re sick. And then man up and finish it.

December 16th – Funniest Joke Ever Day: Tell the funniest person you know this joke. And no, before you ask, you can’t tell it to yourself.

What's an ig?

An eskimo's home without a toilet.
  
December 17th – Cake Baking Day: It’s time to bake again! Your choice this time, I'm being nice.

December 18th –Hot Chocolate Day: Drink a mug of hot chocolate. Preferably the milk kind. That’s definitely the best kind.

December 19th –  Winter Walk Day: I love winter walks. Go on a winter walk and enjoy the crisp air. Don’t stay out long, though, otherwise you’ll get hyperthermia and die.

December 20th – Glitter Day: Glitter and Christmas go together like Ant and Dec. Coat something with glitter. Anything. A picture, a jumper, yourself, your little sister…the possibilities are endless.

December 21st – Language Day: Find someone from a different country and say ‘Merry Christmas’ to them in their language. You’ll look super brainy. Just don’t tell them you used Google translate.

December 22nd – Random Act Of Kindness Day: It’s nice to be kind to someone at Christmas. So do something nice for someone. Buy them a cup of tea, offer to do the washing up, or whatever other kind acts you can muster up.

December 23rd – ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas Day: Yes, I know it’s not actually the night before Christmas, but tomorrow’s movie night so you have to read the poem today instead. Read it here.

December 24th – Movie Day: Watch your favourite Christmas movie. Mine’s 'The Snowman'.

December 25th – Christmas Day: You did it!! Well done! That is if you did it all. If you didn’t, shame on you, you lazy thing.

Wow, that was a long calendar. I didn’t envisage it was going to be that long when I started writing it. It’ll be worth it though, don’t you worry. So go on, go put some Christmas lights up to spread the Christmas cheer! Got to love the cheese.